Ahh yes, it is time for this post: the problem with opinions. We've all heard that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and as far as I can reason that assessment seems, well reasonable. But there does come a point though when opinions can easily go astray and become judgments and that's something that plagues my generation especially. How do you objectively judge something? Is it even possible? Keep in mind, what you think is great others my argue is utter trash and what you find entirely unappealing, others find entertaining. Is it offensive to say "that movie sucks" when someone else really enjoyed it and furthermore if everything is subjective and quality truly lies in the eye of the beholder, then does that mean that there is no scale to which we could rank what's "good" and what's "bad"? This is something I've debated much in my head because I too am guilty for passing judgment on other people's pleasures. I'm quick to say that something is stupid or immature really only because to me it seems that way but if confronted about my own hobbies or interests I'm just as quick to reply that mine actually have legitimacy and are normal (which is a whole nother can of worms). But I also refuse to accept that certain things aren't silly or abnormal - I mean if my hobbies is to run around in a red cape and eat worms I really don't believe I have any basis upon which to argue that I'm not weird. Assuming we can all agree that that's weird, then we have passed judgment - hence the crux of my problem, where do we draw the line?
If we choose to live in a world where we can simply dismiss each others feelings and cast judgment left and right then there really isn't much of a problem at all but what happens when that very same judgment is cast among friends or someone you love. Yeah, Houston we've got a problem. You see, its easy to challenge someone you don't know and don't really have any solid connection to - unless you're like mother Teresa and you can't offend anyone. I was in the car the other day with two friends and I asked where we should go eat. One friend suggested Chili's and then the other friend said no way Jose because she didn't like it. Ahh here we go - classic example. To me, both are correct in what they did - James suggested a place he enjoys and figured maybe others would and Eryka rejected it because she figured there were better places we could go to. From both angles one could argue about who is "right"; James in Eryka's opinion suggested an unappealing place and Eryka in James' opinion was not right is abruptly dismissing what he believed to be a good place. To be honest, I can't see a way out of this dilemma because Eryka shouldn't be forced to do something she really doesn't want to but James on the other hand shouldn't feel as though his choices are undesirable. What exacerbate this problem even more: they both care about one another and neither wants to hurt the feelings of the other (well they're actually engaged so more reason). I simply don't know what one should do, save one option: don't express your opinion then.
But is that really the right way? Censoring someone's opinions because it may or may not cause conflict? That seems like the wrong answer and all it might do is stymie people's conversations or input. In the end perhaps the best method is to do the old "agree to disagree" - and if you're in the presence of people who you know are going to disagree with your assessment then try to be more gentle or understanding about how you go about expressing your opinion. For example, some like the slapstick kind of comedy that's popular now - I detest it, with a passion. If that person tells me he saw a trailer for a movie, or saw the movie itself, and thought it was hilarious I'm going to apply my new mentality towards judgment. It would be impossible for me not to judge because I'm human, and Spanish. So instead of reverting to the older more critical version of myself and saying "that's not funny, its stupid and you must be stupid too for liking it" I'm going to simply say, that's not my style but I'm glad you like it and enjoy it. Likewise, I expect (or at least hope) people would do the same for me. I like horror movies and instead of someone saying that they're stupid and dumb and why would people pay money to see that shit - I hope they would tell me that its not really their thing but they're glad I find it appealing, or in the least ask me why I like it instead of dismissing it so bluntly. Now, once you're among like-minded people are you share the same opinion, perhaps then you can be a little more critical without sounding offensive and more importantly without making the ones you care about feel well, like crap. Its a small step, but sometimes enough small steps can make one giant leap...for mankind ;-)
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